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Date Me

Male, straight, 33, monogamous, 5'11", wants kids, DC area

Looking for: female, similar age, monogamous, wants kids

If you'd like to grab a cup of tea, check out a museum and see if we connect, feel free to email me at

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  • Looking for a self-possessed, intellectually omnivorous woman (preferably a bit weird) with a long-term goal of starting a family

  • If we go out, I promise: chats about life and liberty over mini golf, spontaneous trips to France for wine, cheese, and architecture; back rubs always ready after a long day; and falling asleep hand in hand to a Harry Potter Marathon

  • Fun facts about me: My writing got global news coverage one time, which was pretty neat; I've lectured at Oxford and Harvard; lived in a Syrian Slum; was on Netflix; and my hair turned white in my 20s due to Waardenburg syndrome 

I define my life by the real-world impact I create for humanity in national and global security. I'm delighted to have contributed in small ways to making sure the water stays running and the power stays on during COVID-19 lockdowns; establishing new research and development agreements between the Untied States and South Korea; defending global societies from drone attacks; and helping rescue refugees in Afghanistan being hunted by the Taliban.

I want a partner who cares equally about the world and strives to make it a better place. I want a woman who is intellectually omnivorous, and is excited to talk my ear off about something cool she learned (especially about psychology, history, philosophy, existential risks, social work, or just new ways to make the world better). I expect this to come with a strong sense of self; someone unafraid to call me a moron when I'm being one. I also want us to have some common ways to relax. I'm mostly an indoorsy nerd, enjoying TV, reading, writing, video games, and general parallel play, but I also love museums, art shows, random exploration and aquaria. Currently, I'm enjoying porch wine and thunderstorms; rewatching the Simpsons; and contemplating a trip to Lyon.

I love, and admire kids. A child has no experience of rage, heart-break, or loss. A child experiences the world in its purest form, figuring out what that world means for themselves. I want to be a part of that first scrapped knee, first day at school, and first time reading Harry Potter. I'm not emotionally prepared for children this second and want to build a relationship first, but that's the goal.


As to my worldview, politically, I'm a center-left institutionalist. Despite the problems, American government is fundamentally good (or at least among the least worst). I'm quite worried about declining social trust and cohesion, but not sure what to do about it. Religiously, I'm probably best described as an eclectic esoteric. I've dabbled in Sufism, Wicca, and some new age practices, but don't identify with any in particular. I have no preference on your worldview: I'm unlikely to join a protest or get up early for Church, but I'm happy if that's what you want to do.


1. Husband material: looks fade overtime, and even the most wonderful partnerships will go through periods of frustration, rage, lust, and love. I can promise to do my best to be supportive and empathetic through all that, even if we don't always see eye to eye.

2. Famous in tiny circles: In the tiny world of autonomous weapons ("killer robots") and drone swarms, journalists have written about my ideas in the New York Times, Popular Mechanics, WIRED, NPR, and dozens of others in dozens of languages. I've also been invited to speak at a bunch of awesome places like Oxford, Harvard, Georgetown, NATO, and the UN. I was also on Netflix's "UNKNOWN: Killer Robots" documentary, and one time, I made the centerfold of Newsweek


3. Assumption of equality: my parents were ultra-hippies. I was given dolls at a young age to encourage gender neutrality; my mom proposed to my dad; and my mom's career always was priority. My default is to assume equal value in work and life between husband and wife, with the details worked out based on personal preferences and values. (Personally, I'm excited to learn baby sign language, and excessively read scholarly literature on child development.)


1. Overly serious: When your days are spent thinking about how to defend the world against mass violence and catastrophic harm, a warm, joyful heart takes work. I don't like that about myself, but I cannot deny it's true. On the plus side, I really appreciate women who can make light of hard situations, and dance in the shadows. 

2. Mental Health Challenges: I've dealt off and on with depression and social anxiety, particularly around romantic relationships. I have appropriate support, and those are my problems, not yours, but we may have relationship quirks, particularly early on when anxiety is already spiking. On the plus side, I could never cheat, because my anxiety from juggling multiple relationships could be seen from outer space! 

Finally, here's a random collection of pictures that make me happy:







If you'd like to grab a cup of tea, visit a museum, and see if we connect, feel free to reach out:

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